It’s Not About the Summit Anymore
Dreams, ya know? You remember those, right? Like cayenne pepper in the back of your throat, or a hangnail on a dry cuticle, they nag at you.
Given the proper combination of elements, dreams become spewing blow torches of fuel, of oxygen and fire. The flame is constant and hot, paralyzing even in the warmth of its seduction. They have the power to ruin lives. Or to make a life unforgettably and without measure, extraordinary.
Conditioning for the Grand Teton summit bid has continued in Jackson, Wyoming. In the actual environment the climb will take place, my body aches from the intensity that cannot be duplicated in a gym. Here, I’m faced with the reality of what it is I’m attempting. Confronted daily with a view of Grand Teton standing at 13,770 feet, an iteration of the dream has taken place.
It’s not about the summit anymore. I WILL be disappointed should I not summit. Six months of my life have been dedicated to strict training and diet. Fear has been and continues to be battled. But I will stand at the base of the mountain knowing I pursued this dream with all my might.
The external/physical risks are great. But they’re minuscule, insignificant even, in light of the greatest potential trauma. Failure at the attempt, while painful and disappointing, would be nothing compared to the internal trauma of not having made the attempt at all. A dream without pursuit is a trauma that breeds regret.
Within days of the attempt, the bid for the summit has become a technicality.
The Attempt
Don’t tell me you’re not capable of the same dedicated, passionate pursuit of your own dreams. You are.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — 1994 Inaugural Speech of Nelson Mandela
About SRT... I’m a traveler, writer and photographer for whom the open road frequently summons. Adventurous solo road trips are a staple for me, and a curiosity. So I created this website to share them and inspire you to step out and give them a try. Welcome! 
great job!!! of course we had doubts that you would prevail but all of us are so proud of you.
Comment by pam avison — September 14, 2009 @ 8:34 pm
It’s not the size of the army but the angle of the attack. You came and you conquered as we all knew you would. Your one amazing young lady
Comment by larry — September 14, 2009 @ 6:20 pm
its not the size of the army but the angle of the attack! you came, you conquered as we all knew you would. Your an amazing young lady
Comment by larry — September 14, 2009 @ 6:19 pm
Tammie, you are an amazing spirit with wanderlust - you will have some adventure no matter the outcome. Buona fortuna!
Comment by Lisa at Wanderlust Women — September 8, 2009 @ 5:39 pm
Amazing. I can’t wait to hear the stories of your journey to the Grand.
Comment by Steven — September 7, 2009 @ 11:39 pm
Pursue that dream!!! That’s the core. The center. No matter the trauma, six months training is so worth it when the moment is at hand. Seize it! I believe in you! You are an inspiration and your thoughts in this moment inspire me to climb…. I’ll be looking at you on top!!
Comment by Pops — September 4, 2009 @ 9:28 pm
I’ll have to try and remember that speech when I’m hitting the summit of a Balinese volcano. It’s a very true spoken word.
Comment by Aloha Toni! — September 4, 2009 @ 4:03 pm
Wow, one beautiful statement after another. It is a wonderfully refreshing and uplifting surprise to see your post here. I was expecting only to hear/read post-summit. So thank you for sharing such a meaningful and TRUE perspective on your current adventure, and on life in general. By the sounds of it, summit or not, you are already a success. Bravo.
Comment by Kerrin @ MyKugelhopf — September 4, 2009 @ 3:42 pm
Like any solo road tripper knows, its not about the destination but the journey. I have several summits from my previous life and with the exception of the hugs and photos at the top, whether technical or plodding, I mostly remember getting to the top, not the top itself. 100′ runouts on gear that wouldn’t hold a feather’s fall or 100 degree temps on exposed ridges with sweat filled boots and no water left. Its all part of the journey. The summit is the half way point. Get up, get down, and get back home to us.
Comment by Trev — September 4, 2009 @ 9:06 am
“A dream without pursuit is a trauma that breeds regret.” You will have no regrets. Few have trained with your intensity. The summit is anti-climatic at this point. You are indeed living your dream, because your dream was all of it, not just the summit. Yes, by letting your light shine we are all the better. Your picture makes me cry. I know your decisions will be wise ones, based on but not fueled just by the dream. God Bless.
Comment by Clay Mama — September 4, 2009 @ 7:18 am
Inspirational and oh so human. Be fulfilled.
Comment by Tzaadi — September 4, 2009 @ 3:37 am