We’re a nation teetering on social burn-out. The multitude of devices designed to bind us together like links in a chain has made it difficult to go to the bathroom and be alone. Articles on efficiency are prolific: how to cut a minute off some task, make your morning shower more efficient, and speed up this or that. And yet I know more discontented people than ever. When the pundits start messing with your morning shower, who wouldn’t be unhappy? It all begs the point, if being continually connected to a large group of people and having your life maximized for efficiency can’t deliver happiness, what’s missing? Some solo time my friends.
Ester Schaler Buchholz, PhD, an outspoken advocate for solitude, in her 1997 book The Call of Solitude writes: “We live in a society that worships independence yet deeply fears alienation. The earth’s population has doubled since the 1950s and in cities across the world, urban crowding and the new global economy have revolutionized social relationships. Cellular phones now extend the domain of the workplace into every part of our lives; religion no longer provides a place for quiet retreat but instead offers “megachurches” of social and secular amusement; and climbers on top of Mt. McKinley whip out hand-held radios to call home. We are heading toward a time when, according to the New York Times,” portable phones, pagers, and data transmission devices of every sort will keep us terminally in touch.” Yet in another more profound way, we are terminally out of touch. The need for genuine and constructive aloneness has gotten utterly lost, and in the process, so have we.”
Solo road trips (SRT) strike fear in the heart of many. Either the brain conjures up “solitary confinement” and goes downhill from there or the thought of a road trip disgorges memories of the family sedan and their Dad’s mission to see America at 55 mph. But it’s not about getting away, it’s about going somewhere….with yourself. I read an article on solo travel that recommended spending some time on a psychological sofa before heading out on a solo road trip. I beg to differ. The trip IS the psychological sofa. And there’s no astronomical hourly billing attached. Few things in our lives are as liberating, empowering, and rejuvenating as a solo road trip. Yet as good as that sounds, most people have NEVER taken one. Friends can face down a room of professionals in a board room, or the crush of orders coming in for burgers and fries at high noon, but they can’t face the prospect of being alone.
Let’s debunk a myth right off the bat about solo travel. There are those who believe the only experiences that really matter are those you share with someone else. Pifel! That’s my mother’s favorite exclamatory word and provides a more politically correct substitute for my favorite words: bullshit, crap, crapola, and whatacrock. If you asked these people in a question format “do you believe the only experiences that really matter are….” they would likely say “no.” But my SRTs have become a curiosity, and with that I’ve become a curiosity. So I hear feedback about them and I can tell you a lot of it is negative and without any ability to relate. Why? Because deep down they believe the myth and they can’t relate to those of us who don’t. Various friends and family members are so unable to relate to my road trips, they can’t talk about them. Upon my return last fall from 9 days on the open road, a best friend called and said “Okay, it’s just not right you wanting to have all that fun to yourself, and I demand to go with you on the next one.” Judy. Then it wouldn’t be a SOLO road trip. The concept is beyond her; fun should be shared. End of discussion. But it’s not the end. If it were, I’d have nothing else to write. And I’ve plenty to say, so stay tuned.
Hi:
I just retired. I did my first road trip when I was 19 during a leave from my Navy duty station from Dana Point, CA to Newport, RI . When my children were in their elementary years we travelled cross country 3 times in a pick up camper. Wonderful time stopping at interesting campsites, President’s homes, and beautiful National Parks. Now, as a senior I’m preparing to set out to head west from my home in Florida in June. It is exilerating to read your blog to keep me interested. I remember there are boring moments, lonely moments and that wonderful feeling of the open road. I love getting up early and seeing the sun come up. It’s about then that I find an interesting place for breakfast. Load up the cooler with ice and gas up and hit the road. Thanks for your tips; you’re holding my interest. There’s another site I looked at where a young couple restored a camper van and headed out. Along with them and Charles Steinbeck’s Travels with Charlie I’m itching to jump in my car and get on the road this summer. I’m working on setting up a seniors solo road trip blog. Thanks for keeping my confidence up.
Comment by Dan Van Campen — March 17, 2014 @ 4:44 pm
Wow interesting blog…………..such nice article i like it images also so wonderful.
Comment by hostal near ramblas barcelona — January 4, 2014 @ 6:26 am
Solo sistas, amen to that! No matter where we roam!
My fave shot here is the hot pink flower.
Comment by Lisa at Wanderlust Women — May 18, 2009 @ 12:40 pm
Tammy, road trips for me have always been about “solo”. I never fully examined why I preferred road trips in the solo manner… it never occurred to me. I assume it’s because I have simply always traveled alone, even as a teenager…when I traveled France, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Netherlands…and more…I was 14…on a motorcycle, and alone.
I have friends who also have said such things about coming with me, but when the time comes to do it…they back off, unable to be so “alone”. I never once figured they would take the trip w/me… mainly because I rarely plan…I just point a wheel and land somewhere….
Road trips are for discovering…and those of us who have discovered that we are only touching the tip of the ice burg when it comes to the discovery of our own being…of our awakening are the lucky ones…because each time I travel alone…I am discovering another part of myself that grew while I was “sleep walking” back home.
Now that I’ve thought it over…I guess that’s the reason for solo travel for me… I grow every time I do it!
Comment by Chessie — May 15, 2009 @ 12:51 pm
So refreshing and empowering to read your writings. Beautiful photos too. I am about to embark on a journey of solitude. I will keep up with you website.
Comment by Minna — May 14, 2009 @ 5:43 pm
I’m with you! I am on the road on my own LOTS. In fact, I just returned from a 2 week trip to Yemen alone. Solo traveling is empowering. I truly believe I am a more confident woman for it.
Comment by Maryam in Marrakech — May 4, 2009 @ 5:03 pm
All that and a sense of humor too !! Tammie’s beautiful photo’s, witty journal entries, and obvious sense of adventure are very refreshing and unique from a woman’s perspective. She can definately hang with the ” big boy’s” in this usually testosterone driven, alpha male dominated field. Kudos to you Tammie. Keep up the good work !!!
Comment by MTN BUM — February 22, 2009 @ 4:42 pm
Tammie – Amen to solo road trips. To this day, my most memorable travel is my solo backpacking trip through France, Spain, and Portugal in 1996. It was cathartic, contemplative, and yet fun, fun, fun!!
Nowadays, I travel with my husband and (2-year-old) daughter. Usually, it’s pretty chaotic for the three of us. Maybe one day again, I can get back to a solo road trip. This time around, I will have a better appreciation of time spent with me, myself, and I!
Comment by jen laceda — February 4, 2009 @ 11:10 pm