After 18 years in the financial sector as a CPA and Certified Financial Planner, I asked myself one day who I really wanted to be. Was it the geek carrying the HP 12C, donned in panty hose, respectable pumps, and a conservative suit? Nah. It was the person in this pic. I really like this person. And she seems pretty happy too.
I don’t post pictures of myself mainly because there aren’t many. I’m the one behind the camera, and I like it that way. And pictures of me flyfishing are even more rare as I’m usually by myself or those in my party are downstream somewhere (I like to be the person upstream LOL – I’m blonde not stupid). The blonde part’s not technically correct after the China backpacking trip but I’m working to recover the blonde locks. It takes a lot of time sitting in the hair salon. I don’t do that well. Sitting still.
The photo above was taken on the 3rd hiking trip into the Wind River Range in Wyoming in 2007. There were 3 of us on this trip – me and 2 guy friends. The first and second trips in 2002 and 2003 included me and 5 guys. My amazing husband sends me off with these guys as they’re all like brothers to me. I’m the only girl that ever gets invited because I’m the only girl they know who can smell as bad as they do at the end of the trip. Well, and I don’t whine. Ever. My backpack always weighs 50+ lbs. My camera gear outranks personal items and therefore there’s not a lot of grooming that takes place. I’m okay with that. More okay than I should be. Furthermore I can eat my weight in cheeseburgers at the Lander Bar & Grill when we come out. And throw back a respectable amount of libations.
The trips are grueling. The last 2 more so than the first as I was living in Jackson Hole for the first go and had the advantage of altitude adjustment. Big advantage. The guys all came from sea level. Big disadvantage. I smoked them to the top of Hell’s Hill, elevation 11,000 feet and a full 8 hours into the second day’s hike. So much so that I had time to cavort at the top, lie back in the sunshine, photograph like a fiend, and then climb back down to help a guy bring his pack on up to the top.
I was a rock star on that mountain. It was the first and last of that glory. And like a HS football star, I still talk about it every chance I get.
Since that glory has faded to the hue of a 1900’s tintype photograph, for my birthday this year, I asked to climb Grand Teton. I’ve been training now for 4 months. There’s lots of hissing going on in my household. Lots of ice packs flying around. Lots of short trips and parties being turned down. Lots of lactic acid pumping through my veins. I’ve done without sweets for weeks upon weeks, chocolate included. My life has been consumed by the preparation. My husband reminds me frequently his life has been indirectly consumed by it. I gave him permission to say bad things to me the next time I throw out an idea that will so voraciously inhale 5+ months of our lives.
Grand Teton. It stands at 13,770, with an ascent of 6,700 feet which requires a combination of hiking, climbing, and rappelling. It’s the highest mountain in the Teton Range (part of the Rocky Mountains). The most popular route up the mountain is the Exum Ridge (II, 5.5), a 13-pitch exposed route first climbed by Glenn Exum. This route takes the south ridge of the mountain to the summit and the direct start (Lower Exum Ridge, III, 5.7) is considered a mountaineering classic. The North Ridge (IV, 5.8) and North Face with Direct Finish (IV, 5.8) ascend the dramatic northern aspect of the peak, and their inclusion in Steck and Roper’s Fifty Classic Climbs of North America has helped maintain the fame of the peak in the climbing community. Since the first ascent, 38 routes with 58 variations have been established.
The origin of the name is controversial. The most popular explanation is that “Grand Teton” means “large teat” in French, named by either French-Canadian or Iroquois members of an expedition led by Donald McKenzie of the North West Company. However, other historians disagree, and claim the mountain was named after the Teton-Sioux tribe. Personally, the “large teat” origin is my favorite.
I know a lot about the Tetons, from the GROUND. I’ve photographed them for years, gazed at them from all sides and dreamed of being up there. It was the one thing I regret not doing while living there. And I did a lot of things Animal Tracking, Snot Effect and Poop. You chuckled at the “from the ground” part? You know you did. But it’s important because that familiarity means I know the challenge I’m embarking upon. Then again, I always say that and then get into something and promise myself to have my head checked if I manage to exit the situation alive.
I’m ordinary. Filled at times with fear, infinitesimally stupid at times, fraught with the same self delusions and insecurities as most everyone else, I may have an above average tolerance for pain. Then again I probably tell myself that in order to stay psyched up for the extremely painful things that seem to happen to me. More on that later. I hate working out. Those 30 minutes on the elliptical are an eternity. Getting to Pilates twice a week is as difficult and unpalatable as mowing 2 acres of grass with a push mower. So this undertaking is a big stretch. I think of this when I recall my 3 year old nephew trying to drink a whole glass of chocolate milk and eat a bowl of ice cream the size of my Dad’s. About as insurmountable.
It’s the task itself, the carrot dangling so enticingly that really gets my blood pumping. After the first Wind River hike I was depressed for months. Lost. Afloat. I know what Lewis felt like when he returned home from the expedition. Driving back to the trailhead after getting everyone else on the road , I wanted to disappear back into that wilderness. Returning to Jackson through distraught tears was as much a struggle as anything I’d done.
Nothing in my life has ever been on the same scale as the Lewis and Clark expedition, but I know what he struggled with even if at a much lesser degree. It took a long time before I felt normal, and to a degree, I’ve never regained the perspective of the world I had before I left for that trip. P.S. That’s a Good thing.
The NEED to have an adventurous goal that will stretch me beyond my recognizable self is ever present. It’s an itch that won’t go away. It’s not been relieved a bit by the aging process, or by injuries sustained on past adventures. I WANT to feel some fear. Not the fear of failure represented by not making it to the top of Grand. If I don’t make it, it’ll be disappointing. But it won’t kill me. NOT making the attempt would kill me. The fear I’m talking about doesn’t come at the hand of others. It comes from the smallness I feel when faced with the elements of nature. Things I can’t control. Things that so radically and without emotion put me in my place. It changes your perspective of the world and your position in it. In my opinion we all need that. Others will argue, but there is but one way to get this attitude adjustment – by pitting yourself against natural elements.
4 Weeks and Counting!! Ahhhhh!!……..
P.S. While this technically won’t count as a SOLO trip, it will be just me and an Exum guide. Actually, getting to the top takes just me. Sigh.
Hey ! Kudoes to you for choosing your own path!
Maybe our paths will cross on the road one day…
Dave š
Comment by Dave — December 2, 2009 @ 11:56 pm
Girl i can’ believe i found you on tha net. We were just up in wyoming the last of May. Wish i had found you before. I would have loved to visit with you. Girl do your dream we only live once so do it girl. I will be thinkin of you up there on the Tetons. Check you later.
Comment by Yvonne(Ferguson) Robinson — September 3, 2009 @ 11:30 pm
I left my home in Dertoit Michigan 15 years ago and never looked back. I now live in Southern Idaho, with my 3 boys and wonderful husband. I love to write (it’s a new found love of mine going on 3 years now) and most of all I love to explore God’s country. Last year was my first visit to Jackson Hole and as you know I fell in love and we return often. (twice last year and planning on the second trip for this year.) I recently had to return to Michigan for a funeral, my childhood friend/best friend/kindred spirit/the other half of me. I have now burried 4 of the close group of 10. All four were sensless deaths and alcohol/drug related. Upon my last visit, I realized what the defining difference between the surviors and the deceased was- finding beauty. I don’t mean the kind of beauty one finds at a plastic surgeons office or the kind that can be worn with make-up, not even the kind you think makes you happy when purchasing that 2 or even 3 story home in the center of town where all can see and admire. It’s the beauty all around us. Its the sound of rain as it trickles off the leaves and falls into a puddle or the way a Killdear screams and runs off so as to divert you from her precious little eggs-it’s the beauty of feeling so tiny standing at the base of the Grand Tetons and saying to yourself, ‘I’m gonna climb to the top someday.” I miss my Danny. I doubt I’ll ever be the same without him and I wish he coulod have seen the world as you do…Beautiful. I love your writing and am so grateful you share your wonderful life expierences. Good luck and be careful. Becky-a survivor.
Comment by Becky Olsen — August 26, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
A sense of adventure is a blessing. You have a remarkable way of passing that blessing on to others. A thirst for nature has decidedly been nurtured. In the words of the wrecking ball, “keep putting one foot in front of the other.” You continue to inspire me.
JJ
P.S. Remember to come back down.
Comment by JJ — August 19, 2009 @ 2:29 pm
I was wondering what you think would be a good truck accessory for my truck to store cargo in for my next road trip?
Comment by Joe — August 11, 2009 @ 1:15 pm
Good for you…I just hiked Mt Fuji last weekend, and sort of underestimated what would be involved in that. It’s in no way as difficult as what you’re planning, but I felt such a surge of energy and self-confidence when it was done. it lasted the whole week, and now like you, I’m planning the next adventure too.
Good luck!
Comment by Mary R — August 10, 2009 @ 2:06 am
My deepest, heartfelt thanks to all of you – for your well wishes, for your prayers, your words of encouragement, and support.
To Sheila, Yes, I will climb for YOU and my sister Lisa! Your legs and body now affected by MS, your heart and indomitable spirits fighting and clawing like warriors against a still incurable disease. I am blessed with the physical capacity to do this. And thankful every waking moment for that. The two of you will be with me.
Gina! A BOOK?! Shutup! LOL I need no further distractions for the next month. I must admit, a book has crossed my mind about my adventures, debacles, and other inspiring tales of normaldom. Freelancing? You go girl! I’m so proud of you for taking that plunge. It’s a big one. I know. We’ll talk later.
Comment by Tammie Dooley — August 9, 2009 @ 5:20 pm
What a fun birthday challenge! And as always, your photos are breathtaking!
Comment by Camels & Chocolate — August 9, 2009 @ 3:01 pm
Tammie,
I have unwavering faith in your ability to achieve any goal you set out to accomplish. Your images are stunning, your writing eloquent and entertaining; however, tenacity and gumption are the character qualities you posses that are going to get you to the summit and back safely.
Thank you for sharing your inspirational saga. You will remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Comment by tim cope — August 9, 2009 @ 7:21 am
I’m sure this will be an awesome trip, I can’t wait to see all the wonderful memories you bring back to share with us!
Comment by Steven — August 8, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
I have absolutely no doubt that you will summit !!! You have worked too hard for too long, with a lot of sacrifices. The mountain will allow you to join the ranks of those that have come before you…also prepared, dedicated, and respectful to her raw and natural beauty. Just remember to thank her after the victory photo. =)
Comment by MTN BUM — August 7, 2009 @ 7:16 pm
No matter what, you will be a changed person after your experience. I can’t wait to see how. I will be praying for you. All my love, bro.
Comment by james — August 7, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
You go girl!!! We’ll be looking for you when you come down. Can’t wait to see the pictures but more than that, can’t wait for the word pictures. Your eyes are the perfect lens. All the time and training will be worth it. I can feel the excitment in your voice. Makes me feel the same.
Comment by Pops — August 7, 2009 @ 1:18 pm
Do this for me and your sister, Tammie. For you, this is an AMAZING goal and an adventure that will change your world forever in a good way. For me at least, I can’t speak for your sister, your upcoming adventure represents a classic lost opportunity. I have never wanted to do climb the great teat as badly as I want to now that I cannot . But, I will be right there with you in spirit the whole time!!
Given my level of excitement for you and for what I’ll get to see through your eyes, you might think I actually am going with you. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Comment by Sheila — August 7, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
I admire you and your work. Few of us get to do what we love…maybe that’s why there are so many unhappy people.
Comment by Brenda — August 7, 2009 @ 11:27 am
Tammie, you are an inspiration!! Good luck on the climb to the top. Can’t wait to see the pics from the mountain, although the pics from the ground are fantastic!!!
Comment by Rhonda Schley — August 7, 2009 @ 11:22 am
Tammie … Wow!!! I loved the update, and am thinking about you, praying for you, sending good thoughts your way … wow! What’s the actual date of your departure? You continue to be an inspiration and a great read!!! When does “the book” come out? Hey, I know a great editor who just started her freelancing career officially (that would be me) who would love to see you reach the whole book market … hmmm. Maybe we’ll talk when you get done with the “great teat” (my favorite intrepretation of the legend by far!). Peace!
Comment by Gina — August 7, 2009 @ 11:07 am
For those of us who don’t have that lust for adventure–and simply admire those who do…take us along! Photograph, photograph, photograph!!!
Best of luck on the climb—train well, grasshopper!
Comment by Susan — August 7, 2009 @ 10:38 am
LOVE your Snake River picture!! Really breathtaking…sort of like this climb of yours. I admire your tenacity and your lust for adventure. Train well…you must be prepared. Hugs to you
Comment by Clay Mama — August 7, 2009 @ 6:16 am
How wonderful. Have a great, safe trip and I know you will take some simply amazing pictures.
Connie…
Comment by Connie — August 7, 2009 @ 4:58 am