For those wanting to know more about me than I take solo road trips, here’s more.  I ditched 18 successful years in the financial services industry (CPA and CFP — Certified Financial Planner) for a new life of freelance writing. I can write more about a fly on my arm than the sweeping beauty of some cheesy tropical sunset. I figured that was a sign. It’s been a tough haul so far. Just hope my savings account holds out until I’m discovered by Lonely Planet.  Wait, they don’t pay much. Simon & Schuster. Now THAT’S a dream.

I’m married. I’ve got one child, a son and between my husband and I, a very large extended family. My hair was long and blonde all my life. Now it’s not. It was cut and dyed for a 4 week backpacking adventure to China. I’m a fan of the Old West having watched my favorite movie Tombstone an embarrassing number of times, love to flyfish, backpack/hike/camp, B&W photography and have a mean set shot from the right side of the court. But the real me is summed up best by unglamorous, embarrassing mishaps.

#1 I’m on my way to Jackson Hole to visit a friend and upon landing in Salt Lake City discover I’ve traveled cross country with $5 cash to my name and no debit card (there is no good explanation). I CANNOT call my husband. He’d been very busy when I left and hadn’t placed any cash in my wallet that morning (because he knows I don’t carry much cash and he loves me so much that he doesn’t fight that fact, he just takes care of it). If he knew my predicament, he’d feel terrible. Then he’d kill me. I panic and as I’m hoofin’ it across the huge terminal to my connecting gate call American Express to see if there’s a way to get cash from my credit card at an ATM. As I’m walking on the moving sidewalk with a phone pressed to my ear, I become vaguely aware of a “full” sensation between my legs and wonder what it could be. During a lull in my panicked conversation with AmEx, the idea passes through my brain that I may have sat on my tail bone in a way on the plane that had sort of numbed me and the feeling was simply returning. American Express delivers the good news that I can indeed get cash and they give me a temporary pass code to use. By this time I’m off the moving sidewalk hurriedly making my way to an ATM I’ve spotted. I get up to the ATM, pull my backpack off and start to adjust this long, loosely woven, fringed scarf I’d worn only to discover during my quick paced walk, the friction of my legs had caused both ends of it to crawl completely and firmly up between my legs. I’d had a tail most of the way across the crowded airport terminal. NICE.

Airport Tale

Airport Tale

#2 Then there’s the time I’m getting ready to depart for my return trip to Jackson Hole (during the courtship with my husband-to-be) and he asks if I’d ever tried Burt’s Bees chap stick www.BurtsBees.com. I said I hadn’t and he gave me a stick of it saying how great it was for winter conditions. Since my lips were chapped from the Jackson winter I put some on in the airport before boarding the plane. It contains peppermint oil and felt so awesome on my dry lips that I reapplied it several times on the plane. Upon landing in Salt Lake I noticed a few people glancing at me, but thought maybe I just looked HOT that day and strutted my hot self into a bathroom. I began washing my hands and looked up at the mirror to see the ghastly sight of my ghostly white lips. The chap stick was “sun and sand” and had zinc oxide in it. I immediately called him, “Why didn’t you TELL me the chap stick was OPAQUE!?” “Well I didn’t know you were going to TROWEL it on!”

#3 Recently my husband and I landed at a connecting airport in a major city and I’d gone into a bathroom. Upon entering, it appeared empty (oh happy day, no line!) and I ducked quickly into a stall. I exited the stall, walked around a sort of dividing wall to the bank of sinks, began washing my hands, looked up and men were standing on both sides of me washing theirs. I was momentarily confused until in the mirror I caught a glimpse of the back of several men and corresponding row of urinals now directly behind me. With dripping hands, avoiding any eye contact (but seeing amused grins), I ran out as fast as I could.

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