Depression: A Mountain or a Molehill?
From my journal on the Grand Teton climb: “Overwhelmed is how I felt atop the summit of Grand Teton. The exertion required to get there, and the grandeur of the view that greeted me were immense. I was humbled by the magnificence of the perch I’d managed to reach. And while the achievement was of personal significance, the powerful impact of such natural beauty served to abruptly put me in my place – I understood in one glance my INsignificance. There are few things that can so readily and with such sweeping conviction reveal what it is to be mortal.”
So now that’s off my chest, you must know the wonder of the climb has worn off. Completely. I’m in a weird place right now, lost, a bit depressed even. I can appreciate what Lewis felt after the expedition was over; mine of course on a much lower scale.
It seems the preparations to summit Grand Teton went long enough for “normal” to be altered. After a year of intense focus on the goal, I’m struggling to redefine what “normal” is post summit, post 5 and 6 workouts a week, post all that build-up.
Imagine a year’s worth of foreplay, then one great round of sex, the guy leaves for Antarctica (didn’t even spend the night) and you never hear from him again. Kinda like that.
Friends have said it’s time to start thinking about what’s next. I’m still tired, so thinking about what’s next doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. Although I must admit Everest’s South Base Camp has wedged its way into my brain more than once.
Should I pick up where I left off on the fried foods I love so much, the fast food I am/was addicted to, the chocolate, mashed potatoes and gravy, biscuits, bacon and grits? What about drugs? I’m not above their usage. I mean pharmaceutical companies spend billions developing drugs for every malady known to man. Is this a “malady”? I can tell you for certain, the first time I feel the slightest twinge of a hot flash, I’ll have no qualms about using them. No question. They’ll shorten my life? Generations of women in my family have lived to be near 100. So I die at 90.
Well that was a therapeutic tirade. I feel better. Mountain or a molehill? It’s just a molehill. This too shall pass. In the interim, how ’bout a cheeseburger?
who needs drugs when these exist?
About SRT... I’m a traveler, writer and photographer for whom the open road frequently summons. Adventurous solo road trips are a staple for me, and a curiosity. So I created this website to share them and inspire you to step out and give them a try. Welcome! 
peetower. I cant agree on your comments at all, Blizzard has always produced a great many other content that could have waited for a cheap and rushed enhancement pack. They imho have regularly supported all thier games and regardless how well D3 does, WOW is a monthly continued revenue and it’s also the milk cow for a while. I think if little else D3 will work with WOW to bring new people to possibly games.
Comment by Diablo Gold Farming — June 19, 2013 @ 5:28 pm
Another great piece. This one hit close to home on more than one level. The funny thing about the Universe is that it has this incredible way of keeping an effortless, natural balance. I also struggle with the depression after adventures and I can concur that it is no picnic. While I’ve had more than my fair share of summit views, adventure, and overall “playtime” with this spinning rock I always long for more when I’m in the eventual downtime mode for recovery. Somehow though the Universe has worked with me and created this cycle of random journeys and eventual recovery/downtime/work mode afterward every few years like some surreal Mayan cycle. LOL. I say hop on the comet when it passes through, enjoy the ride, and cherish as many as you’re blessed to be given. It is the trap of the restless daydreamer, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s been almost 2 years since my last great adventure and I’m pre-planning for whatever it is that is coming my way next as we speak. I can’t wait until your next comet comes back around and we all get to hear about how magnificent the ride was. 🙂
Comment by J.R. — March 13, 2011 @ 11:14 pm
Tammie…it’s a molehill you can easily conquer. So, where’s the next adventure? Mt. Kilimanjaro? Everest? Can’t wait to find out for you!
Comment by jen laceda — October 23, 2009 @ 12:13 pm
The let down can be great…stay busy…and tell me you didn’t eat that! It was on another table and you casually asked if you could take a picture??? I know you didn’t eat it…oh my..you did eat it…I can see you dipping in the catsup. Hmmm….well, once can be enough. LOL
Comment by Clay Mama — October 21, 2009 @ 10:54 am
Thanks for sharing – I know exactly how you feel. I trained for a whole year to climb Mt Rainier, it was so incredibly hard AND we even had to turn around within arm’s reach of the summit because we got caught in a horrible storm. I was depressed for weeks after that. What did I do? Ate a lot of good food, and then dove headfirst back into my hobby of whitewater kayaking to find another challenge. Being addicted to challenges brings some ups and downs, but then again there are worse things you could be addicted to. I absolutely love your writing. Keep up the good work!
Comment by Helene — October 21, 2009 @ 7:17 am